- Get 24 boxes of c0nd0ms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3″ in housewares…and see what happens.
- Move a “CAUTION – WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.
- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
- While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
- Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
- Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
- Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”
- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”

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